RANDOM MUSING ON HOW TO LOVE A MAN

Seriously though my fellow women, I think you should settle for a guy who loves you, but who you just like,the one who gives you butterflies every time you look at him; keep him in the friend zone, go to a therapist if you have to so that you see him as no more than a brother because the second you love him, you have lost.
Most men do not know how to be loved-how to reciprocate the love they receive, you see how they treat their mothers, who birthed them and risked and sacrificed everything in the world for them, an example is how casually he will lie to her over the phone or just ignore the call altogether when the two of you are together. If he does this to his own mother, what do you think he's going to do to you? You did not bring him into this world, you do not supply his every single need, you are just someone who loves him.
You are not the prettiest, the smartest, the wealthiest, etc, all those are walking around out there, so why would he not ditch you the second he gets a shot at something better, or just something a bit different (they always love variety after all)? You see, when a man discovers that you love him (remember that his mother also loves him, probably a lot more than you) and that you are willing to do anything for him because of love, he will realize he has a safety net to catch him any time he falls, and do you know what he will do? He will do random crazy experiments, little by little, and small ones at first to test your limits, but rest assured that they will grow in scale over time.

Each time he flirts and sexts another lady and he apologizes and you forgive him and let go, he will move to the next rung in the ladder, cheat, have kids outside, maybe even bring other women home eventually because he knows you love him, and you won't let anyone come between you two. If you have to love a man and be in a relationship with him, all the best, but just know that you will need to keep the leash supernaturally short; when you catch him smiling at another lady raise hell, and make sure he knows every second that you remember and you don't like it, so that he will know that the higher he goes, the cooler it will become, and maybe that will stop him but even then, set a standard beyond which you will not stay because if he knows about your standard, and you stay even after he steps over that boundary, my friend, Wetangula and his gold scandals have got nothing on you.
Women, are you with me? Love yourselves, and love your mothers, love your children and then love the others, (men are in this group), and in this exact order. If you choose to disregard my advice, you will suffer, you will come to this page asking why is he so heartless etc, and I will refer you back here. I hope that you will be better students in the school of life than the other schools where all we did was copy others' assignments and eat snacks in class. Learn from my experience and if you want, you can come for more classes on my blog haha.

So men, you're okay and all, and it's not that we want you banished to the ends of the universe because we kinda need you; but just settle for the love that your mothers give to you because when the rest of us love you it becomes the death of us, and I'm sure you don't want us all to die......... No hard feelings, but whatever, if you want to catch feelings then here's some gloves 🧤.
Also catch it here https://foxxyma.com/random-musing-on-how-to-love-a-man/

                                         XO

IS HE WORTH IT? FIFTEEN SIGNS THAT THE MAN IN YOUR LIFE IS WASTING YOUR TIME

Hey all, today I'm going to write about the signs that you need to look out for if you want to know whether the man in your life is there for keeps, or if he is just a passer-by. No woman wants to spend seven years next to some loser, all the while teaching him to be a better man and ironing out the kinks that his mother left behind, only to find themselves with two kids, no career, no savings, and no plan-B, on the third weekend of the month that he has gone on a drinking spree with his buddies like a naive alcohol-starved and hormone-ridden teen. Read on and be watchful my friends!

1- He won't commit
If every time you ask him what your relationship is he starts to glance around like a pickpocket and/or dismisses you, it's time to bounce because you are just a time-filler in his life, and like the billions of his kind out there, he doesn't know what he wants so good luck finding it out...

2- He still talks with former and potential love interests
His phone is chock-full of messages, texts, emails and the like to and from people he felt something for or even had a relationship with at some point in time. When you ask him about it, he will give the timeworn classic of 'she means nothing to me, we're just talking', or like a loser I knew once said 'she texted hello and I felt obligated to respond, my mother never raised me to be rude and it would have been rude of me to ignore her' ...... Like seriously, isn't it just totally psychotic to hide behind good morals while doing such an immoral and unethical act such as trying to double-time you? The nerve he had was something crucial to say the least though, and I hope it takes him very far in life.....very far away from me haha.....

Catch the rest of the post over here: https://foxxyma.com/is-he-worth-it-fifteen-signs-that-the-man-in-your-life-is-wasting-your-time/

WHY YOU ARE FEELING TRAPPED IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

 Hello all! If you have been in more than three relationships, there is a very good chance that in at least one of them you developed the feeling that you were trapped; cornered and suffocated. Obviously, this is less than ideal because most of us seek out and engage in relationships in order to feel the joy, companionship, light, and laughter that being with a fellow human being is bound to bring.
Today I will go through the signs, reasons, and solutions to feeling trapped in a relationship so read on to find out if you are indeed trapped, and if there's something you can do about it...

SIGNS THAT YOU FEEL TRAPPED
So this may seem pretty straightforward, but just to clarify if indeed what you are feeling is trapped, here we go:
1-You are tired and unhappy;
2-All you do is give and give and give;
3-You are not yourself any more;
4-You are staying out of pity or guilt;
5-Your close friends and family notice you have changed;

Catch the rest of the post over here : https://foxxyma.com/why-you-are-feeling-trapped-in-your-relationship/

                                                                    XOXO

WHY MOST RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT LAST NOWADAYS

Of late it seems that when you turn to the left, a couple is breaking up and when you turn to the right, another one is hacking each other to death, or stabbing or shooting or strangling them and you have to ask, why is this?
Granted, we are living in a global village thanks to the internet and the distribution of information seamlessly and instantly from all corners of the world to everywhere else, so if you are looking for something you are bound to find it in plenty.
In the last five years, however, it just seems to me like I know a lot more people breaking up than I did say, ten years ago; I honestly hardly used to hear so many people splitting up even though there were still some. It seems that Millenials just can't stay together; they lack the patience and courage it takes to love and live with someone, and they really don't care. I have a few theories as to why this could be the case, and the main one has to do with the progression of gender roles over time.

Long ago, it was the man's duty to provide for the family, protect them, and fix things that needed fixing while the woman was to stay home, keep the house clean, and have lots of healthy, giggling babies. Due to humanity, though, some assholes abused this status quo and you would find men not supporting their families, instead going out to drink all night and supporting random women with their money, then beat their wives silly if they dared to voice their opinions on the same. Some women as well engaged in random acts of diva-ism; running around gossiping, partying and dropping babies randomly, not caring and nurturing them as a mother should. These are the women who mothered us, and the men who fathered us; are you starting to see the problem?
Responsible mothers naturally loved their children equally, but taught their daughters to stand up for themselves, and to learn to do things for themselves so they could support themselves in case they ended up alone. They taught them that there was no shame in walking away from an abusive and unsatisfactory relationship- they would receive them with open arms, so they did not have to prove to anyone that they could run a family unless they really wanted to.
As for the men, their mothers loved them also, but that is all they could/would do, and with their fathers away on endless contracts and drinking in the bars, the boys picked up random pieces of information from friends, neighbours, TV, and magazines (the days majority of which were still printed in hard copy of course). And with this, they left to face the world.
Now what do you get when you cross a very empowered female with a very emasculated male, and throw in the mix rapid modernisation?
A disaster, that's what you get.
Other mothers saw this happening and thought that they could love the emasculation out of their sons so they smothered them with even more love (and a little manipulation here and there), but they were wrong; breeding instead entitled little shits who could neither change a light bulb nor fry an egg for themselves when need be.
Probably because the little that they saw of their fathers seemed untouchable, happy, successful and content, they decided subconsciously that this was the way to be, so they carried this same attitude and behaviour and attempted to lay it on women who grew up seeing the endless tears her mother cried and the premature wrinkles she got from stress.
Disaster, I tell you.
The worst of this is that no one wants to change, as they see nothing wrong with them so why compromise? No one either wants to help the other change; if your mother didn't teach you then the world will, as the Swahili proverb warns. Is there any hope for us then? Because messed up children form messed up adults who raise messed up children and the cycle goes on and on, unbroken.
I believe that the change can only start when we admit that we are all screwed up in one way or another; and when we let go of this denial, then we will be able to heal ourselves and each other, seeing as no one is perfect and we have all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.....
Let me know if you think I'm right, and if you don't agree also let me know, so we can work on the healing little by little, and fix whatever we can to salvage humanity in some way or the other, or at least the family unit.
'Til next time, keep it foxxy my dears!
XO

I AM LIVE!!

Hello my loves!! I am glad to share that I've finally got my site up and running over here: www.foxxyma.com
Thank you all so much for keeping me company over here but now it's time to spread my wings, and try it out on a kinda bigger scale as I feel I will have more opportunities over there.
I hope you will follow me there, catching up on the past posts you've come across here and a few edits here and there, as well as brand new posts when we are done catching up, probably in a week or so.
Keep it foxxy, and I will love entertaining and interacting with you over there, as well as imparting some advice :)
See you on the other side!       
      
                                 HUGS AND KISSES!